great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
