Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
