the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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