He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
