Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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