I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
