I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
