I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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