I just made out with a guy for $7.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
