My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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