its not stalking. its research.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
