She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
