I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
