Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
