She's JV to your varsity
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
