Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
