Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
