Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
