The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
