At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize