Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
