A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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