A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
are you so shy because you have an std?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize