just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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