Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
