Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize