Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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