I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
