Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
