this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
