apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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