Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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