thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize