I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
