so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Im part way to drunk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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