whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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