Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Please, let me fuck your mom
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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