I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my liver is dry heaving
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
