Tell her she can't have a vagina
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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