thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your cock deserves a montage
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
