For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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