Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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