i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
