I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
