So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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