Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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