And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
