But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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