he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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