she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You pole danced in your parka.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
