maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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