i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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