Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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