In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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