He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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