Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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