drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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