I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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