So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
