dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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